Don’t Call It a Lifestyle Change

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It’s like promising to never eat candy after a teeth cleaning or vowing to be celibate after a Pap smear or cutting all your hair off after a breakup or scrubbing clean and burning sage after negative people have occupied your home…

My ten-day Master Cleanse kicked off a clean living frenzy! My kitchen is old and outdated but I revived it by rearranging furniture, removing the stove, downsizing the fridge, adding my Urban Rebounder and updating cooking gadgets and utensils.

Removing large, energy sucking appliances allows space for trampoline jumping and exercising. What better place and time to get in a little cardio and stretching than a kitchen? Plus, it reminds me of how my food and exercise connect.

Similar to my laundromat/gym business idea: Most people sit, smoke, eat or watch television while waiting at a laundromat. Why not get an exercise quickie in while you wait instead? I’m sure this already exists somewhere in the world!

I ended the detox twenty pounds lighter and renewed my commitment to eating mainly wholesome home-cooked and raw foods. So far, my kitchen has been filled with pots of vegetable soups and beans, chopping boards of fresh produce and a blender of fresh ingredients.

Once again, I’m promising to stay the course. However, lifestyle changes CHANGE! LIFE HAPPENS! Stress and emotional eating are real. Right? So I prefer to call it lifestyle tuning instead of changing. Our bodies require regular check-in’s, up’s and out’s in order that we make positive choices. This way, I won’t beat myself up or make excuses for not sticking to the last LIFE STYLE CHANGE I made!

I’m Getting a Mother-Daughter Divorce

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Two old pictures of me and my mom side by side.  It has been this way since my birth.  Choosing to attend a university away from home initiated my first major attempt to escape my mother’s suffocation. Don’t get me wrong. I love and adore my mother and our closeness.  We talk daily. Oddly enough, we don’t see each other every day, but we can literally feel each other’s presence.  She occupies the downstairs unit of our two-family home.  I purchased it in July ’98 and she’s been here since ’99/’00. You do the math! LOL!  It has been the two of us…together through EVERYTHING!

I have always admired my mother’s beauty, work ethic, parenting and sacrifice.  There’s just ONE THING that I wish she had found: TRUE LOVE!  I have listened to her scare tactics about men since first or second grade! LOL!  She taught me to marry before having sex.  She compared the vagina to a cake (Rihanna owes her royalties…lol)  The cake had to remain intact for my husband.  “Would you present a birthday cake with slices already eaten?”  It kind of makes since, huh?  Maybe it does…coming from a southern girl raised Pentecostal. But come on now!  That was not going to work for a ghetto Catholic school girl. LOL! Hey!  I think I did pretty good. I was a senior in high school when I lost my virginity. But rather than walk down an aisle, I ran off to college instead! WHEW! FREEDOM! After teaching in New Orleans and flying for Continental Airlines, I decided to teach and settle back home in St. Louis.  Nothing holds you hostage like a house, so it was a done deal once I turned thirty and purchased a home. Now here we are, two old ladies who talk on the phone several times a day, and live side by side.  

What triggered this narrative testimony is my viewing of the movie, Roxanne Roxanne, based off the first female rapper, Roxanne Shante, and written and directed by a St. Louis native, Michael Larnell.  The movie’s portrayal of Roxanne Shante’s mother and daughter relationship gut punched me. Aside from the alcoholism, the mother, played by Nia Long, strongly reminded me of my mother. They both share shady views of men, hold very little trust in their intentions, scrutinize any man you pick and shame you out of even thinking about the possibility of REAL LOVE.  

Unlike sixteen year old Roxanne Shante, who chose an older man despite her mother’s profane disapproval, I had to wait until 49 years of age before I could totally shut down my mother’s manipulative and male bashing attempts to keep me near. Her approach is less vicious now that I am older, but the intent remains the same.  After recently sharing my feelings about this particular brotha possibly being THE ONE, I could hear her under breath sigh of doubt and pessimism.  However, this time, I was TOTALLY unfazed.  Without getting defensive and emotional, I shared how there are GOOD MEN out here.  We are just too often blinded or consumed by the swag, games, pimping, fragility and badness of BOYS to see them.  I clearly explained my decision to surrender my sword.  It is no longer needed.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to get to know one of THE GOOD ONES. Unfortunately for Roxanne Shante, she was too young to peep the abusive predator in her older man.  I, on the other hand, have lived looooooong enough to see pass the bullshit.  Oh! And about that birthday cake…it’s still good!      

What in the Health

Is going on with this price?

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The Master Cleanse recommends maple syrup GRADE B. I had not been in Whole Paycheck, I mean, Whole Foods, in a while. And after seeing their maple syrup’s price tag, I should have driven right up the street to Trader Joe’s! I had purchased a bottle from Trader Joe’s about a year ago, but I recall the bottle I purchased at that time saying Grade A instead of B. One of the TJ store clerks explained that though it said A, it was really B since the Grade A is being used for all maple syrup. However, The TJ brand did not have a “Previously B” sticker like the one at Whole Foods. Rather than waste any more time wondering if what I had purchased at Trader Joes some time ago was truly Grade B (since it did not have a label like Whole Foods), I spent my $26 dollars worth of coins ON SYRUP! It was late and I had only a drop of syrup left at home.  After returning home, I discovered that the Trader Joe’s maple syrup did have the same “dark and robust” description as the Grade B. So yes, the clerk was correct about it being the “Previous B” even though it did not contain the sticker like Whole Foods. I don’t remember what I paid for my Trader Joe’s bottle, but you can trust and believe it wasn’t $26!!!

Day Five: I felt amazing! I floated on a cloud all day. I performed massages with my usual strength and grounded intention. After work, I shopped around at Home Goods and returned some shoes to DSW. I even noticed the white spots in my face disappearing. I felt so good and cute that I took this selfie.

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The Detox life was going well…UNTIL…

Day Six: I could not muster up enough energy to walk to the bathroom, let alone make my lemonade cocktail. Consequently, I did not have my liquid meal until around four o’clock. That is just how long it took me to get up and drag across the floor! Thank Goddess I did not have to work. I felt weak and slightly dizzy! No! This is not due to fasting! It is only the release of  poisons or toxins being circulated through my blood stream. Why day SIX? I don’t have a clue! The good thing is, my energy returned as soon as I drank my lemonade drink. I was able to complete some home spring cleaning chores and write this post! Look at Goddess!

 

 

 

 

Who says you can’t …

Be Fast While You’re Fasting!

Day three started off a bit rough. My energy was low, but still, NO cravings! Thank Goddess! After struggling to get up, I prepared my lemonade cocktail and showered. REFRESHED! Had I not promised to celebrate a friend’s born day, I could have stayed on my couch alllll day! I’m so glad I decided to go though! I had a blast. I discovered another level to my fasting. Today is day four and I am feeling quite energized. A night of dancing and mingling with friends and family gave an unexpected boost in energy!

I would like to share one other thing: Drinking a laxative herbal tea each morning and night keeps the waste moving. Those already familiar with the Master Cleanse know that it includes a sea salt drink at the beginning to serve as a natural colonic. Well, usually I do it only once because it is so difficult to get down! YUCK! The taste is horrible! I evidently neglected to totally eliminate in the past because I am still having bowel movements now that I am including a Smooth Move herbal tea every morning and night.

I thought I was in the clear (pun intended) whenever my stool turned light brown and watery after doing only one internal bath (2 table spoons of sea salt WITHOUT iodine in a quart of warm water). However, the cleanse does recommend doing the internal bath as often as possible while detoxing, so I should have known to drink an herbal laxative tea if I couldn’t stomach the sea salt drink. (TMI?  Well this is a CLEANSE!) LOL! The continuous eliminations may explain my increase in energy. And let’s not forget: A few dance MOVES.🕺🏾 

Happy B’Earth Day shout out to King Farrar and a special thank you to my cousin Brenda for always camera documenting! She is the Camera Boss Lady! Usually, her need to take photos is annoying, but she saved you from seeing toilet shots.  I’m sure you thank her as well! 

Day 2: No Desire

To eat anything…

Yeah, it is only day two, but I have done this quite a few times so I think I know my cravings well enough to do battle when they come for me. I obviously don’t know everything though. I have used the pictured citrus juicer for years when preparing my Master Cleanse drink. Last night, I decided to throw my half peeled lemon (with the white skin intact), dash of cayenne pepper and table-spoon of organic maple syrup in 8 ounces of water and blend it in my Magic Bullet! Wow! What a difference it made! You mean to tell me I have been manually wasting wrist power to squeeze juice and stir with a spoon all these years???! Not to mention, how many nutrients I have missed by not including the lemon’s white layer. The other bonus: IT WAS DELICIOUS! Now who’s to say my palate will react the same way by day seven? That’s usually around the time I’m just over the whole lemon drink meal! By that point, I’m satisfied by the simple smell of food and a glass of water to wash down the aroma! Who knows what this blended cocktail will bring this time. I’ll keep you posted of course!

50 is the New Retirement

 

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You know, I’m beginning to think that 50 is the new retirement. Particularly for those of us who refuse to bite our tongues or pretend to go along to get along on jobs!  Regardless of how much longer many of us live or how much better we look, working until our mid-sixties just might be a thing of the past! Instead of working for someone else, maybe it’s our time to prepare for REINVENTION instead of retirement.  Yes!  By the 50th mark, it is time to volunteer, mentor or work for your damn self! I find the closer I get to 50, the harder it is to respect ill-prepared or premature young professionals in leadership positions. 

And it is not from a disrespectful, insubordinate or defiant space! I actually prefer STRONG AND ORGANIZED leadership… as loooooong as it is FAIR AND CONSISTENT!!!! I am all about following and respecting procedures and policies.  It’s just, around the 50th mark, most of us have seen and heard a lot! No! we are not perfect.  Old and lazy fools do exist! LOL!  However, as a highly trained and qualified professional and life-learner with thirty years of work experience, I am not interested in coddling the insecurities and inadequacies of young professionals while they are paid to lead and manage employees.  I have played many positions, earned multiple degrees, attended tons of trainings, worked in all types of environments, served all kinds of bosses and even performed in leadership roles myself. Needless to say, I may come off as challenging and intimidating, but not to an effective, qualified leader with management finesse and confidence.

Overall, EXPERIENCE usually equips us with hindsight and 20/20 vision when it comes to people, places and problems.  Unfortunately, working under those with minimum experience and shallow wisdom is like watching a brand new driver take the steering wheel, and putting the livelihoods of all her passengers in danger. The younger and inexperienced driver has read all of the latest driving books, attended the most popular drivers conferences/workshops and earned the required driver ed degrees. However, the young driver thinks mainly about the power behind the wheel, the excitement of driving for the first time or the final destination. The experienced driver, on the other hand, has already navigated the traffic jams, police stops, speed bumps and road detours.

And since brutal honesty can sometimes outweigh polite filters when spewed out the mouths of those in the 50+ club, experienced drivers might appear less patient. They nag and shout warnings, directions and shortcuts from their passenger side or back seat! And who likes a backseat or passenger side driver while they’re steering the wheel?  Yet, when has there ever been too many eyes watching the road?  Moreover, what’s competitive about people riding in the same car and arriving at the same place?  Why not take the advice of a traveler with more mileage?  Chances are,  ” They have already been where you’re trying to go”!